It is a lot.

I am lying in bed feeling slightly sorry for myself that yet again I have had to cancel plans today due to my period. It takes over my life and I know most of you reading this will think I am being dramatic, and that is fine, but I really wouldn't wish this feeling and the pain I go through on anyone. Today I don't even have the energy to stand for longer than a few seconds. To walk downstairs I have to go from my bedroom to the top of the stairs, stop and sit there for a few minutes, before then walking down the stairs and sitting at the bottom. I haven't been able to eat much but I did sort of force myself to have a little something, thinking it would help my energy levels (I know this isn't really mindful eating, but I needed energy and so forced myself for health reasons rather than listening to my body and whether I feel hungry or not). I have spent the day in bed watching friends, which is my go to when feeling a little rubbish, either that or the sex and the city movies. It is also Valentine's Day today, which of course means a load of cringy love posts all over social media. ugh. I do want to remind everyone though that what you see on social media are the highlights of people's lives the majority of the time, as people often avoid being true to themselves and completely honest when times are a little rubbish. They want everyone to think they are living their best lives, when actually a lot of these people are unhappy, so just remember that when scrolling through online, especially days like today. I know some people who are fighting for their relationship to work, yet over social media it seems as though they live this perfect life together. I often offer advice and don't actually listen to myself, but this past week I have really tried to focus more on self care and love, and getting my smile back and it seems to be working. I am going through a lot of huge changes in my life and it all seems rather overwhelming to deal with right now, but I have tried to view it all differently and see these things as a positive. Moving house, changing career, and a potential life changing operation, all potentially happening within the next few months. It is a lot.