It has broken my heart.

I never expected or really thought about the mental side for my recovery, only wondered how I would be physically. It has been over a week now since my operation (read about this on my instagram @annabellelucy.co), and my body has actually surprised me with how quickly I have felt normal again. I had a similar operation just under two years ago and the recovery was far longer, but mentally this time I am not ok. I will be honest and say I feel sorry for myself. My future is going to be very different to how I imagined it, and I just think it's unfair. I am one of those that has always dreamt of being a mum and I feel my chances are being taken away from me. Long story short, if my periods don't change over the next few months, my only other option will be to have a full hysterectomy and my ovaries removed, which therefore means no children biologically. I cannot cope with my painful and heavy periods anymore so it is my only option to feel better. It takes over my life, I cannot make plans around the time I am due on, and working just isn't possible. I know everyone has a different pain theshold, but being physically sick, fainting, and feeling like you are in labour with the pain, just isn't ok. Oh and without trying to be gross, the amount of blood is mad. I am emotionally drained. It has compeltely shattered me and I really cannot process it all, especially when those around me are announcing pregnancies, or are getting married which normally means babies will be thought about soon. It has broken my heart.