18.10.21

Today I felt desperate for sleep. I worked late last night and before I can go to bed and sleep, I always need some time to just wind down where I either read a book or watch TV, or even some guided meditation. This then meant my 5 o'clock alarm this morning, which I set in hope I would do a workout before getting ready for work, felt like it was the middle of the night, so when it woke me up, I changed it and gave myself an extra hours sleep. I then woke up even more exhausted so that idea did not help me in the slightest. I had work from 7am which however much I love my job, today was not the day and I could have easily stayed in bed. My period is due this week which really messes with my hormones and moods. I often find one minute I am dancing and singing along to upbeat songs when driving between customers, and the next I could cry. I really do struggle to understand my emotions sometimes, and find I often don't listen to how I am actually feeling, and if it is an unwanted emotion like upset, I push it aside thinking I am stronger than that, when really, allowing yourself to feel each and every emotion, is the best way to discover yourself and also develop.